Cartoon All-Stars To The Rescue

"They're all here - Alf, Garfield, Alvin, Brainy, Slimer, Pooh, and more. We immediately get our first shock moment, as the group finds Michael's box of drugs under the bed, prompting Simon to nail that crucial line: "I think it's marijuana." I know not too many of you have had the pleasure of watching this video, but time seems to stop when Simon mouths that word. It comes off more like "maaaaarrrraaaajuuuuaaaannaaah," and everything else in the world seems to temporarily fade to gray. From here on out, the drug references don't stop. You've got Alf talking about heroin, you've got Miss Piggy talking about cocaine. It's really, really strange to watch. We're talking strange on the same level as watching Mrs. Cleaver give Wally a rimjob. Sorry, I'm not usually this crass. It's just that hearing Papa Smurf yell 'LAY OFF THE DOPE, MICHAEL" tends to shake one's foundations of reality. I'm sure it'll pass."

Numbers Don't Lie

"...the record industry cut their inventory (and artist investment) by 25 percent and sales only dropped 4.1 percent, even though the economy is at rock bottom. There were almost 12,000 fewer new releases for the consumer to choose from in 2001 than 1999. The record companies are making more money per release than ever."

The Onion | Ghost Of Christmas Future Taunts Children With Visions Of PlayStation 5

"SOUTHFIELD, MI—Bored with scaring elderly misers, the Ghost of Christmas Future is spending the holiday season taunting modern children with visions of Christmas 2016's hottest toy: the Sony PlayStation 5, a 2,048-bit console featuring a 45-Ghz trinary processor, CineReal graphics booster with 2-gig biotexturing, and an RSP connector for 360-degree online-immersion play."

Conservative media are setting political agenda

"Give the conservative media their due. The party line gets out on issues from going to war with Iraq to drilling the West. The opposition is depicted with distortions reminiscent of mirrors in a fun house.
Still, effectiveness creates discomfort. Pretending to be under siege has been so lucrative for so long that no conservative pundit dares admit to a reversal of fortune."