Granta: 'Confessions of a Middle-Aged Ecstasy Eater'
"Perhaps there are those who feel no need to do so, to experience such ecstasy, that they are blessed with a sufficiency of it in their daily lives. Perhaps there are those who feel that such ecstasy, because it is ‘unnatural', induced artificially, chemically, ‘under the influence', cannot possibly be ‘existentially authentic', and must therefore be false, a fraud and a lie, and that it cannot possibly be sustained. Perhaps there are those who suspect that the disparity is too great, that having experienced such ecstasy, they will find it too daunting to endure the rigours and asperities of a mundane, largely prosaic, often overwhelmingly corrupt and ugly world. Perhaps there are those who feel that such ecstasy cannot be reconciled with their religious, political, philosophical or domestic agendas, that it threatens or violates the very essence of that in which they are so wholly invested. Perhaps there are those who are reluctant to risk engaging in what our culture defines as socially unacceptable, even legally trangressive behaviour. Perhaps there are those who are afraid of footing the physical and emotional toll, or of becoming psychologically addicted. And perhaps there are those who simply, unapologetically, are flat-out scared. Scared of beauty. And of bliss."